Cuts
I think my attack on Chapters 11 thru 13 (I haven't meddled with the first part, before rewriting the first scene of Chapter 1) was as much to try and find my way to the core of the conflict as to get the words down. It just didn't have the oomph that the first part of the book does and even if it isn't as raw-action-driven as the first half, the intensity still has to be there. I think we've resolved the problem by making explicit the threat of the Visitor Probe, not just to Amel but to Sevolites as a people. I think we were resisting that (or at least I was), afraid it would seem crude, but all the work we have already done has built up all the psychology and the politics around it. Has to be clear that Reetion and Gelack ideas of "free will" are fundamentally different. Has also to be clear that although Reetion society allows trespass on what we consider as fundamental liberties and rights - ie to privacy - for the good of the greater number, the Reetion "soul" is still in moral danger because they are doing what they do for the wrong reasons. In a way it's a reflection of the question they had to wrestle with in 2C: do the ends justify the means? In this case the underlying question is: if the end is noble, are any means justified? Or if the objective is admirable, does it matter if the motives are craven? One of the themes in the book, if not the series as a whole would be "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Alongside: "The chief cause of problems is solutions."
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