Chapter 4 of Far Arena: My pass
Done. Uploaded to respository. I think I've tightened up the pacing. Mostly by trimming multple adjectives in favor of better verbs and such. Hope you agree. Minor twiddles with L'Vert's attitude which I think contribute better to the thrust of: a) Bryllit's religious take on Amel and the Reetions, b) House Bryllit ambiguity / pain about Vrenn. Also made an adjustment to make the possiblity of Erien challenging Nersallians to stop them more dramatic and less introspective by having Ranar act out alarm at the prospect. He's not wrong. Given how Erien ultimately stops Bryllit spacing people on Kali until Horth shows up.
posted by Lynda at 11:42   comment? e-mail lynda@okalrel.org 0 comments